Julie’s recommendations for Thanksgiving: Count your blessings! Be thankful. Create a gratitude list A-Z, anything that comes to mind. Be thankful as you remember the many special ways your life was touched by your loved one. You hurt so much because you loved so much.

Julie’s top 10 Holiday Survival Tips:

1. Allow yourself to break away from old traditions, or start new traditions, at least for the first year. Even subtle changes can help you cope. Make a plan.

2. Give yourself permission to cry. Don’t apologize for your feelings or for your tears. Grief is a process, and it is different for everyone.

3. If you are going to a social function and are unsure you can handle it, take a close friend who can speak for you if the words become too difficult. Make sure you have an exit if needed.

4. Light a candle to remember your loved one. You can create a special area to display photos to honor times together.

5. Don’t expect too much of yourself. If you need to get alone, or leave early from an event, allow yourself that opportunity. Set healthy boundaries for yourself.

6. If you don’t feel like listening to Christmas music or sending cards, then don’t! There will be a time when you feel like doing it again, but you can skip a year or two until you feel ready.

7. Consider giving a gift in memory of your loved on to your favorite charity, needy family, or to an organization your loved one supported or belonged.

8. Finding time to reflect and journal may be beneficial to you and help you deal with your emotions.